A Tale of Two Men

Today I wrote the final entry in a journal that covers about 14 years of my life.  I re-read the entire thing first.  The 32-year-old man who wrote the first entry is not the same as the one who wrote the last. And yet he is. It tells a tale of highs, lows, despair, and joy, of God’s dramatic intervention, or his silence.

But there are gaps sometimes where no entry was made. I know they indicate times where I was not living in God’s fullness of life. Times when ‘doing’ for God had taken over my ‘being’ in God. Times when on the outside things looked good, but I was running on fumes, feeling like a fraudulent failure, and wondering how long God would persevere.

While honest, the journal doesn’t tell the full story.  That journal would be a Tale of Two Men. One who appears to be a mostly confident child of God, and the one who is helpless and lost.  But I can see in the ups and downs a general trajectory where it is clear God is transforming my mind, my heart, my desires.  I am not the same.  Because he is faithful.

Paul’s letter to the Romans describes this paradox wonderfully. It acknowledges our plight, and then describes the drama of how God, in the life, death, resurrection and ascension of Jesus Christ has released us from the power of Sin, has forgiven us our sins, and made us to be children of God. Then through the Spirit God continues to help us to live like it! God just needs a “Lord, here I am” from us, and a decision to create space for him to work in us.  That remains my challenge daily.

What story would your journal tell?

Adam